What Is Parent Coaching? How It Works When Your Child Is Struggling

Sometimes the person who needs the most support in child therapy isn’t the child sitting in my office.

I don’t do parent coaching because I think parents are causing their children’s problems.

I do it because parents have enormous influence over the environment in which children practice new skills. And because parents need more support!

That doesn’t mean the parent is doing something wrong. It means that parents are the people who get to practice the skills with their kids every day.

That’s where parent coaching comes in.

So, what is parent coaching?

Parent coaching is a model of therapy where I support you in supporting your child.

We might start with a parent intake, spend some time getting to know your child, and then return to working primarily with you. Together, we figure out what’s happening underneath the behavior, identify the skills your child is still developing, and come up with strategies that fit your actual family.

Then we see what happens when you try them.

Because let’s be honest: parenting strategies rarely work perfectly the first time.

We troubleshoot. We adjust. We try again.

What does parent coaching actually look like?

A parent might come in saying: “My child won’t do homework.”

Instead of immediately prescribing a consequence, you might explore:

• Can they start independently?
• Do they know what the assignment requires?
• Is the task overwhelming?
• Is anxiety getting in the way?
• Are there too many steps?
• What happens when the parent prompts?
• What happens when the parent stops prompting?
• Has the parent gradually become responsible for getting the child started?

Then we collaboratively experiment with something different.

For more on this one, see our psychologist’s guide to helping a child who is struggling with homework.

Another example: “My child melts down over every transition.”

Rather than simply teaching the child a coping skill, you might look at:

• What happens before transitions?
• Does the child know what’s coming?
• How much warning helps?
• Is the transition itself difficult or is the activity they’re leaving especially reinforcing?
• How does the parent respond once the child escalates?
• What can be changed before the meltdown?

This is where my clinical background helps with interpretation of behavior or explaining the behavior in the context of typical child development.

It’s not just about changing your child’s behavior

One of the biggest shifts I try to help parents make is moving from:

“How do I get my child to stop doing this?”

to:

“What is my child having difficulty doing, and how can I help them learn it?”

Sometimes a child needs to learn how to pause before reacting, tolerate frustration, start a task, ask for help, or handle a transition.

Sometimes they already have the skill, but can’t access it when they’re overwhelmed.

And sometimes we have to change what we’re doing as parents, too.

Not because we’re bad parents. Because our children’s behavior can activate our anxiety, frustration, expectations, and fears.

For example:

Your child refuses to get dressed, and suddenly you’re not just thinking about getting dressed. You’re thinking about being late, school attendance, independence, what the teacher thinks, whether this will still be happening at 15, and whether you’re somehow messing this whole parenting thing up.

It’s really hard to respond thoughtfully when your own nervous system is screaming, “We are already late and WHY IS THIS HAPPENING AGAIN?”

Parent coaching helps parents notice:

• What is my child doing?
• What am I telling myself about it?
• What does my child actually need from me right now?
• What response will teach rather than simply stop the behavior?

Why involve the parent so much?

Because therapy doesn’t happen only in my office.

A child might learn a new skill during a therapy session. But parents are the ones who can help that skill become part of everyday life.

Over time, I want parents to become better at recognizing:

This isn’t defiance. This is overwhelm.

This isn’t laziness. This is an initiation problem.

This isn’t the moment for another lecture. We need to pause.

That’s progress, too.

Parent coaching isn’t about becoming a perfect parent.

It’s about understanding your child a little better, understanding yourself a little better, trying something different, and repairing when it doesn’t go perfectly.

How parent coaching works at Thrive Collective

Parent coaching is part of our child behavior therapy and parent coaching service in Ottawa, Illinois. It happens in two ways. It can be built into your child’s therapy, with you joining part of the sessions. It can also run as separate sessions just for you. Every family is different, but the work usually follows the same shape.

• It starts with you. The first session is a parent intake with you or your child’s other caregivers. We talk about your concerns, your child’s history, and what you hope will change.
• Then we get to know your child. The next session, and sometimes a third, is about building a relationship with your child.
• You’re in the room for part of it. Parents are often included for part of the session, so you can reinforce new skills between visits.
• Practice happens at home. Each session includes specific strategies to try at home or school, and you get coaching on how to support progress between sessions.
• Some sessions are just for parents. We add separate parent coaching sessions when we recommend them or when you ask for them, whenever there’s extra troubleshooting to do or strategies to practice.

We pause or wrap up sessions once things have shifted. One sign we look for is that you feel equipped to respond effectively during difficult moments.

Parent coaching with a psychologist vs. a parenting coach

Search for parent coaching and you’ll find very different services under one name. Some are coaching programs. Others are run by licensed clinicians as part of therapy. Both can help families, so it’s worth asking who you’d be working with.

I am a school and clinical psychologist and the cofounder of Thrive Collective. I’m licensed as a clinical psychologist in Illinois, and I’m a Nationally Certified School Psychologist. I specialize in working with families to provide a combination of therapy to kids and coaching to their parents. There’s more about my training on my bio page.

That matters when a pattern keeps coming back. Sometimes the question underneath a behavior is whether attention, anxiety, a learning difference, or some combination is part of the picture. Our practice also does psychological testing for children, so if an evaluation would answer that question, we can talk it through with you.

My cofounder, Dr. Vinita Menon, is a school and clinical psychologist too. In April 2027, we’re presenting this work at Thrive Summit 2027 in Paris, hosted by the Thriving Well Institute. Our session is titled “The Missing Piece (PEACE): Parent Coaching as a Clinical Intervention for Improving Child and Family Outcomes.” You can read more about the Paris session on our blog.

Parent coaching for ADHD, autism and more

Parent coaching can be particularly helpful when you’re dealing with:

• ADHD and executive functioning challenges
• autism and neurodivergence
• anxiety and avoidance
• emotional dysregulation
• impulsivity
• intense or inflexible behavior
• sibling conflict
• transitions and routines
• school-related challenges
• independence
• parent-child power struggles
• behaviors that seem to escalate no matter what you try

For ADHD, there is a specific, well-studied way of involving parents. The CDC’s page on parent training in behavior management says it “has been shown to be an effective treatment for children with ADHD and is the recommended first choice in ADHD treatment for children under 6 years of age.” That is a specific, structured treatment. Not every service called parent coaching follows it, so it’s fair to ask any provider how their approach compares. Among the questions the CDC suggests asking a therapist are whether they “Assign activities for parents to practice with their child” and “Meet regularly with the family to monitor progress and provide coaching and support.”

What success looks like

• Your child still gets frustrated, but now you recognize what’s happening earlier.
• They still need help, but they’re asking for it instead of melting down.
• Homework isn’t magically easy, but your child knows how to get started.
• Like me, you still lose your patience, but you recognize it sooner and repair.
• Maybe your child isn’t suddenly independent, but you’re gradually doing less for them.

Progress isn’t always “the behavior stopped.” Sometimes progress is: “We understand what is happening now, and we know what to do next.”

Parent coaching doesn’t mean perfect parenting

You don’t need to be a perfect parent. You just might need some new tools. Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. They need a parent who is willing to keep learning.

It’s about becoming more aware of your patterns, trying something different, and repairing when you don’t get it right.

• Good enough.
• Consistency over perfection.
• Repair over guilt.
• Teaching instead of simply reacting.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does a parent coach do?

A parent coach helps you understand what’s going on beneath your child’s challenging behavior and gives you practical tools for everyday life. You try those tools at home between sessions. Then we look at what worked, adjust what didn’t, and keep practicing.

How much does parent coaching cost?

Thrive Collective’s published fees range from $120 to $295 per hour across our services, depending on the scope of the work. We confirm the exact fee for your sessions in writing before your first appointment. We’re out-of-network with insurance, so you pay at each session and can submit a superbill for possible reimbursement. Our guide to therapy and testing costs explains how that works.

Does my child need to come to parent coaching sessions?

Not necessarily. Separate parent coaching sessions are just for you. If your child is also in therapy with us, you’ll often join part of those sessions. Either way, the first session is a parent intake, so the work starts with you.

Is parent coaching helpful for ADHD?

Parent training in behavior management is a well-studied approach for ADHD. The CDC says it “has been shown to be an effective treatment for children with ADHD” and is the recommended first choice for children under 6. It’s a specific, structured treatment. Not every parent coaching service follows it, so ask any provider how theirs compares.

Getting started

If this sounds like your family, you can read more about my background and how I work with parents. When you’re ready, book a free consultation to talk through whether parent coaching is the right next step for your child.

This post is educational and isn’t a substitute for an individualized assessment or treatment.